Divorce is never easy—especially when children are involved. It’s not just the end of a marriage. It’s the beginning of a difficult conversation that no parent ever wants to have. This is the story of the day I sat down with my 9-year-old daughter to tell her something that would change her world forever—and why I made sure she knew it wasn’t her fault.
It was a cold Sunday afternoon, the kind where silence feels heavier than usual. I had been dreading this day for weeks. My soon-to-be ex-wife and I had finally made the decision official—we were getting divorced. But no court date or lawyer’s office could compare to the weight of what I had to do next: talk to our daughter.
I found her in her room, curled up with her favorite stuffed animal. She looked up and smiled, not knowing that smile would soon fade. I sat beside her, trying to keep my voice steady and my heart from breaking. And then I told her the truth:
“Mommy and Daddy aren’t going to be living together anymore.”
Her face shifted immediately—confusion, worry, and then the tears. “Is it because of me?” she asked, her voice trembling. And that’s when everything inside me shattered.
I pulled her close and looked her in the eyes.
“No. Never. This is not your fault. Not even a little bit.”
And I meant every word. Because no child should ever carry the burden of their parents’ decisions. Too often, kids blame themselves—thinking they could have done something, said something, been better. But they couldn’t. And they shouldn’t have to.
I told her again, slower this time, through tears:
“You did nothing wrong. Mommy and Daddy love you so much. We just couldn’t fix what was wrong between us.”
We sat there in silence for a long time. She cried. I cried. And I kept holding her, because that was all I could do.
This moment, this quiet heartbreak, wasn’t for views or sympathy—it was real. Raw. And painfully necessary. But we decided to film parts of our journey—not to go viral, but to help other families who might be going through the same thing. Because if one parent sees this and remembers to say, “It’s not your fault,” then maybe it helps prevent one more child from blaming themselves.
What surprised me was how many people messaged us afterward. Parents. Therapists. Even grown adults who had gone through divorce as children and never heard those words. Some said they still carry guilt decades later, simply because no one ever told them it wasn’t their fault.
Divorce hurts, but it doesn’t have to leave scars on children. It doesn’t have to become a weight they carry into adulthood. Honesty, reassurance, and love—they go a long way.
Today, our daughter is adjusting. Some days are better than others. We co-parent the best we can. We’re honest with her, gentle when needed, firm when necessary, and always, always united in one thing: that she feels safe and loved.
So if you’re going through this, or know someone who is, don’t forget the most important thing you can say in that moment:
“It’s not your fault.”
Because those four words can change a life.
