I ended up in hospital after the first time I had sex
My First Time Ended in the Hospital – Now I Advocate for Better Sex Education
My knuckles were white as I gripped the hospital bed rail. Tears streamed down my face as a nurse and my best friend held my legs apart while another nurse inserted gauze into my vagina to try and stop the bleeding.
People always say you’ll remember your first time having sex—usually because it’s awkward or special. Mine was unforgettable for a very different reason: it ended in blood-soaked sheets, three hospital rooms, and a whole lot of fear.
I was in my late teens, dating a boy who’d booked a hotel room. I didn’t expect to lose my virginity that day—I wasn’t prepared, mentally or physically. I felt anxious, awkward, and nauseous even before we arrived. Around him, I never truly relaxed, and in hindsight, that should’ve been a red flag.
There was no foreplay. He touched only my chest and went straight to penetration. It was excruciating—sharp, piercing pain that made me freeze. I wasn’t on my period, but the bleeding that followed was intense and terrifying. It wasn’t spotting—it was pouring. Blood soaked the bed, dripped onto the carpet, and splattered the bathtub. It looked like a crime scene.
“Why are you bleeding so much?” he asked. I had no answer. I was just as shocked as he was.
I used six sanitary pads before I realized something was seriously wrong. When I called 111, they asked if the sex was consensual and told me to head to a walk-in clinic. By then, I’d nearly fainted twice, my mouth was dry, and my body tingled with numbness. All I could think about was how furious my family would be if they found out.
At the clinic, they referred me to A&E. I almost collapsed again on the way, and the Uber driver had to stop for water and snacks to keep me conscious. My best friend met me at the hospital. That’s when I truly realized how serious things were.
At A&E, I was examined by multiple gynecologists and nurses. The diagnosis? Tears on both vaginal walls. Likely caused by rough penetration and a lack of arousal or preparation. I’d been bleeding for more than three hours, through ten pads—even when using two at a time.
One nurse gently helped me into disposable maternity underwear. On the floor, I spotted the lace thong I’d bought specially for the occasion. I couldn’t help but laugh bitterly.
I was terrified of my parents finding out. Growing up in a South Asian household, sex before marriage was taboo. My mother had warned me: “Men will promise you everything to get sex. Once they do, they’ll leave.”
I stayed in the hospital for two nights. The gauze removal was nearly as painful as insertion. Eventually, the bleeding stopped, and I was discharged. But I didn’t talk about it with my family—I told them I’d stayed at a friend’s house.
Later, I spoke with friends about their first times. Many also admitted it hurt, some cried. I realized how common it is for women to go into their first sexual experience nervous, underinformed, and unprepared.
A survey of 3,000 women found that one-third weren’t ready for their first time. Over half said it hurt. This shouldn’t be the norm.
Sex education often skips over pleasure, consent, and emotional readiness. It focuses on protection, abstinence, and STIs. But what young people—especially girls—need is honest, empowering guidance. They need to understand their bodies, how arousal works, and how to communicate what they want and need.
If I’d had access to that kind of education, I might have felt confident enough to say I wasn’t ready, or to ask for what I needed. I wouldn’t have felt like sex was something that just happened to me.
It took me over a year to feel ready to try again. And when I did, it felt completely different—uncomfortable, sure, but not traumatic. Like using a muscle that had never been stretched before.
Now, sex is something I enjoy. It’s not filled with fear or pressure. It’s something that makes me feel good, seen, and empowered.
And that’s what every young person deserves to know: sex isn’t supposed to hurt. Your comfort matters. And you’re allowed to wait until you feel ready.
